2023 Reflection

Last year marks the beginning of my Saturn Return, which explains a lot (last year also marks when I really started paying close attention to my astrology lolz). There was definitely a theme of šŸŽ¶growing upšŸŽ¶ and I was happy to grow alongside everyone whose paths crossed mine last year. 🌱

šŸ“š I read more books for the first time since college—and explored new genres, including memoirs!

šŸ“ I took a break from playwriting (it’s very exhausting writing from multiple characters’ POV, let alone my own) and instead went slow into poetry and wrote several new pieces — I also hadn’t written this much poetry since college.

🪁 Attending protests for a Free Plstn šŸ‰ and learning more about colonization and oppression reminded me of my student organizing work in college. The work is never over and we keep going.

(Speaking of patterns, I see the ā€œsince collegeā€ one here! It was a time when I was able to fully dive into things I was sooo passionate about)

I know I was never really lost but it feels like I’m finding myself again. Here’s to 2024 ā­ļø

It is the end of week 4 of the Shelter In Place order in the Bay Area, California.

It’s been 34 days since I last went to an in-person art event.

31 days since I’ve been to my yoga studio.

27 days since I’ve been to my workplace.

26 days since I’ve eaten inside a restaurant.

14 days since I dropped off groceries to my grandma.

7 days since I went to Target for snacks. 

I’ve finished Stephen King’s On Writing, Kingdom on Netflix, Tiger King; started watching Terrace House: Aloha State and Phil of the Future on Disney+; played Animal Crossing: New Horizons with my brother, my friends from college, and my cousin; and ate a bunch of pretzel snacks. 

All the media I’ve consumed over the last month has been … refreshing and soothing, to be honest. Before mid-March, I was juggling a full-time job, part-time volunteer gig, and side-hustle starting a theatre company… It’s been a busy 6 months to say the least… An hour or two of escape from navigating our new reality sheltering in place is much needed (as often as every two hours if you ask me). 

As a creative, I haven’t been pressuring myself to create or write anything during this time. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t miss it or crave it. I find myself constantly tired from adjusting to work from home (WFH), reading the latest news, thinking about the impacts of this pandemic, and trying to keep myself together. It’s mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting.

I know that reading and writing awakens and energizes me, but it also takes a lot of energy to pick up the book or the pen (especially when the TV remote seems to be always closer). Week by week, I’ve been able to read a couple more pages or write down some thoughts and it’s been nice getting those little bursts of energy. 

In the last few years, I’ve tried not to be too hard on myself when it takes me weeks or months to finish a script or reading a book. Ever since I graduated from college, it’s been difficult for me to find a real reliable routine for my creativity. I tend to write in 2 to 3 week bursts, then I won’t touch the keyboard for a month or more. I imagine it’s the same for a lot of people, but balancing work life, self-care, and personal relationships has proven to be easier said than done. 

Anyway, since the SIP order, I haven’t guilted myself into thinking ā€œI better be writing my masterpiece right now!ā€ (To be honest, the guilt and pressure has more to do with my dayjob, but that’s another story). If this ā€œextra timeā€ works for you, that’s great. But it doesn’t work for everyone in that way. I personally get a lot of my inspiration and drive from attending events at galleries, theaters, and community centers; meeting artists and hearing their stories. As I mentioned at the top, it’s been 34 days since I’ve been to an in-person art event. 

34 days since I’ve shared space with community members to watch a film at Cinequest (before they postponed the second half of the festival).

I’ve been fortunate to be able to connect with artists online through Zoom, Facebook, and Instagram. Been able to see their writing projects or photography. Their creativity and originality during this strange time in our history has energized me.

But it’s definitely not the same.

As we head into Week Five, I hope to find myself reading and writing just a little bit more and set myself up for success. I’ll be connecting with some friends in an intimate poetry circle/workshop setting, attending a playwriting class via Zoom from my favorite Fil-Am theatre, and starting a potential blog project with a community partner. I realize I may be getting a lil busy with all this and maybe that’s what I need again.

Mental Health Check-In May 2019

🌸May is Mental Health Awareness Month! 🌺 Did you know that everyone has mental health, just like physical health? 🌼Our mind and emotions exist just like our bodies. 🌷We have to pay attention to mental health in the same way we pay attention to physical health. When you run a long marathon, you have to rest. šŸ—£When you have a hard conversation with your partner, you have to rest. When you are navigating body image and politics and economic justice and social expectations, you have to rest. When you are juggling work/friends/family/rent/side projects/concerts/etc, you have to rest.

I’ve been doing my best to give myself grace and forgiveness when I spend weekend mornings in bed or sleep in extra before work. Been working on paying attention to what works for me (sleeping early, essential oils, yoga, following empowering artists on Instagram). šŸ…Been setting goals, meeting some of them, and continuing to work on others. 🌱 I hope you know that asking for help or taking a break from things or even just talking about your depressing morning with a friend is not weak or bad. What about you? How do you take care of yourself?

This Winter Season (18/19)

This last winter season, my team atĀ @aaciamplifyĀ and I created a winter gingerbread land AND executed an arts conference for youth inĀ #ESSJ, I went to šŸ¬ Candytopia with my cousins, I made šŸš rice and mac n cheese for Thanksgiving, my iPhone screen crackedšŸ“±, I cried, I cried, I cried, my second play in theĀ #realworldĀ was produced atĀ @bindlestiff_sf, my uncle never quit in his fight against leukemia, I volunteered with šŸ‡µšŸ‡­Ā @lead_filipinoĀ as theĀ #FlyPinays2019Ā Program Director, I learned more about civic engagement as a student withĀ @apali_org. I met an amazing group of theatre artistsĀ @more.mas.maramiĀ šŸŽ­ with plans to produce theatre in San Jose. I started using šŸ‹šŸ½ā€ā™€ļø weights in my exercise?! I went to yoga šŸ§˜šŸ½ā€ā™€ļø for the first time and it felt like the sweatiest and most PRESENT moment in my life???? I started approaching my emotions and my relationship in a way I’ve never done before. I went to three 🦈 @sanjosesharksĀ games and they WON. I watched Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse twice šŸ•·I started watching We Bare Bears 🐻🐼 I’ve experienced new things; the good, the bad, and the baffling. … I’m feeling like a lot of things are falling into place, while a few other things are falling out. And I indulged in ice cream, beer, boba, and more šŸ˜…


For real, this winter season has probably been the most challenging in my life and I guess that’s what growing up is, amirite. As challenging as it was… it was probably the most growth I’ve had since graduating college. I contemplated many of my relationships, touched base with others, connected with new, breath-of-fresh-air, REAL AUTHENTIC, spirited souls. Life’s been this teeter-totter, giving me new signs and changing my mind every week. We don’t gotta have it figured it out right now. We don’t gotta compare. We don’t gotta do anything but be our best. And I promise, we are all doing our best. šŸ’Ÿ

Many thanks and shout outs to my people for holding it down and holding each other. Let’s chat if you wanna,Ā #letsbloom2019Ā for sure.

Curveball 2018

Roll with the punches, peeps! šŸ‘ŠšŸ½ This year, I’ve already seen a live spoken word performance, got tickets to my first music festival, ate dumplings, CRIED, (re)started working on my WIP play, BEGAN A GYM ROUTINE wtf, got headaches 3 days in a row, finished reading my first YA novel in years, forgot to pay my Target REDcard on time, got my first oil change for my own car, recorded my first spoken word video, and hung out with all my cool peeples 😌 What happens when you just let life happen šŸŒ€